


The Perfect Gift for the Man Who Has Everything

by BlessedMasochist



Series: The Summer of Smut [9]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Ed is the town bike and you can't convince me otherwise, I am so late posting this, M/M, Nygmobblepot, Office sex is so fun to write, Riddlebird - Freeform, Summerofsmut, it was written so early on and I just suck, like a month late, mentions of slutty Ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25099315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlessedMasochist/pseuds/BlessedMasochist
Summary: The doors to his office slammed open, cracking against the expensive velvet flocked walls. Edward Nygma strolled in as bold as you please, a grin curling his pretty pink lips."By all means, Edward. Welcome," Oswald declared, turning his attention back to his papers. Edward had always had a penchant for dramatic entrances."You still haven't given me a key~ Besides, I come bearing gifts!"Summer of smut 2020 prompt: Office Sex
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: The Summer of Smut [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787152
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	The Perfect Gift for the Man Who Has Everything

It was a late night after hours at the Iceberg Lounge, its owner seated behind his desk with his shoulder slouched forward as he diligently closed out the books for the night and went over his paperwork. Oswald was making an excellent life for himself: his nightclub well established, his wealth swelling with every new underworld conquest, and his black market deals still a secret from the Bat. The lines on his face betrayed his age, chubby fingers idly straightening a silver monocle as he examined a particularly hefty receipt. His jet black hair was mottled with grey, salt and pepper sideburns seemed to glow in the low fluorescent light of the office. He yawned, pausing to stretch as he heard a faint noise from the closed nightclub. 

_ If it's a threat, Lawton will take care of them...  _

The doors to his office slammed open, cracking against the expensive velvet flocked walls. Edward Nygma strolled in as bold as you please, a grin curling his pretty pink lips.

"By all means, Edward. Welcome," Oswald declared, turning his attention back to his papers. Edward had always had a penchant for dramatic entrances.

"You still haven't given me a key~" he replied lightly by way of explanation for his theatrics. He strolled toward Oswald's desk with his hands clasped behind his back. "Why don't you look up from that dreary work for a while, Ozzie. Gaze at something worth your attention."

"Why bother with a key when you seem to have your own way in?" Oswald delighted in pushing his old friend's buttons. He continued to avoid eye contact with a smirk.

Edward pursed his lips, brown eyes narrowing behind the purple domino mask. "It would be nice to feel welcome, once in a while, Oswald." With a huff, hating to be ignored, he pushed the paperwork to the side and sat on the desk.

"Edward!" Oswald snapped sharply, blue-green eyes finally glaring up at him. "I'm a very busy man, and you didn't call. How am I to make time for you if you don't make an appointment?"

"I come bearing gifts, Oswald. Gifts, I went through great trouble to procure for you. I thought you might show a little..." He ran his fingers up Oswald's arm, leaning down to brush his lips against his temple, "appreciation for the trouble I went through."

Oswald sighed softly, a reluctant yet contented sound. Edward was a constant that offered him a unique sense of comfort. Even in his unwelcome interruptions. "Well, alright, let's see it then," he invited with a smirk.

Edward brought his other hand from behind his back, revealing a beautiful Faberge egg decorated with gold and violet. The core of the egg was painted with small blackbirds taking flight as one spun the piece. Diamonds littered the egg throughout and caused it to glitter as it caught the light. 

"Oh, Ed..." Oswald beamed, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled widely at the splendid gift. "Wherever did you get this?"

"Metropolis was having an exhibit of treasures from Eastern Europe," he replied with a grin, a warmth tickling his insides at the delighted look on Oswald's rosy-cheeked face.

Oswald took it gently, bringing it close to his face to inspect it with awe, a gentle flush settling over his round cheeks. "It's beautiful, truly. What is the occasion for such a lovely gift?" he inquired, trailing his eyes over the other man with a wry smile.

"I've missed you, Oswald. I know that we've been rather busy with our separate endeavors, but when I saw the egg, I...I knew I had to see you." He reached out, cupping Oswald's cheek as he leaned down, lips brushing over the other man's flushed cheek. "It's been too long," he breathed in his ear, nibbling at the lobe.

The older of the pair drew in a shaky breath at the intimacy, leaning subtly into the action. "It has been a long while... I missed you too, my friend."

He deposited an achingly sweet kiss to his lips as he set the egg down on the desk. He slipped to his knees before Oswald, gloved hands massaging the undoubtedly sore limb.

"You spoil me, Ed," he sighed contentedly, "I love it." 

Oswald was always careful to love Edward's actions, and not the man himself; his heart was known to be his greatest weakness after all- he couldn't go around loving people, but he certainly loved the things Edward did. Oswald loved the way his nimble fingers sought out aching muscles and soothed them, loved the way he doted on him in a manner no one else dared... but he didn't  _ love _ Edward. 

At least that's what he told himself.

Edward's eyes crinkled at the edges as he looked up at Oswald, lines around his mouth curling upward in a soft smile. Slowly his tricky fingers danced up the other man's thighs to the front of his zipper. He massaged the bulge he found there.

"Ah..." Oswald's eyes flickered to the door, still shut tight. "Was there anyone downstairs when you arrived?" he murmured, spreading his legs slightly to Edward's actions.

"Just the bartender wrapping up for the night. He was halfway out the door when I was coming up. Very polite young man~" He began to unzip his trousers delighting in the shiver that ran through Oswald as he did so.

"Did you lock the door?"

His eyes fluttered shut, melting back against his leather armchair with a soft groan as his erection was freed from the confines of his slacks, which had been growing steadily tighter from the moment the other man first made his appearance. 

Edward knew the rules of engagement with Oswald and followed them closely lest he be denied.

"What do you take me for, an amateur?" he asked with a sneer. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Oswald. He still did not quite believe that after everything they'd been through together, everything they put each other through, he would be allowed this bliss. He began to stroke slowly, a long teasing pump from base to tip as he locked eyes with his greatest love.

"Never-" Oswald replied softly, fingers curling over the arms of his chair with a low moan. 

The blinds were drawn, the office glowing with the light of a single desk lamp, and Edward's eyes seemed to take on an impish golden hue as he rested his cheek against one of Oswald's soft thighs.

Edward kissed along the line of his cock, all but worshipping him with hands, and lips, and tongue.

Oswald bit his lower lip, finally surrendering to the pleasure with a low moan of the other man's name. "Eddie... You look so lovely on your knees."

"You've always loved subjugating others, and I cannot resist giving you everything you want, even now." He opened his mouth and lapped at the head of Oswald's cock, purple and pretty as the priceless egg that sat upon his desk.

"Mm, good boy," he praised, stroking Edward's swollen ego as he pressed a foot against his equally swollen cock.

He groaned, the vibrations shuddering straight through the other man. He looked up at him with a lascivious smirk and swallowed him down to the base's pretty black curls.

Oswald could have cum right then, surrounded by the wet heat of Edward's mouth, but managed to hold off as he grasped Edward's hair tightly, knocking the black felted bowler hat aside with a satisfied grin.

Unperturbed, Edward hummed lowly and began to bob slowly, making sure to apply tight, wet pressure.

Oswald only allowed himself a few soft sounds for Edward's ears, shifting eagerly against the soft black leather of his chair with a creak.

He was delighted to hear whatever sounds he was able to pull from the other man, wanting to bring out more, always needing to push the limit. He cupped his sac, rubbing the sensitive flesh as he bobbed up and down on his cock.

Oswald paused to inch his trousers a bit further down his thighs for comfort, rolling his hips contentedly into the other man's wicked mouth.

He slowed before pulling off completely, letting the head smack lewdly against his outstretched tongue.

"Are you going to tease me all night or give me what you really came here for," he taunted playfully, shuddering at the sight of the other man so unrestrained.

"I was rather hoping you'd give it to me~" he grinned with a wink.

"Good, I don't feel like getting up any more than I already am," he replied smugly, motioning for Edward to undress for him.

He rolled his eyes with a smirk and began to undo Oswald's tie. "Incorrigibly lazy."

"I beg your incredible pardon, I am the most hard-working man in Gotham- I deserve to stay seated," he replied cattily. "Did you bring condoms?"

It was not an accusatory statement, but a practical one. Oswald did not demand monogamy from Edward, nor did he expect it. He simply requested protection, lest he ended up with whatever venereal disease of the month might be lurking amongst Gotham's more  _ frivolous _ rogues. 

"I might have a few in the desk drawer..."

"I brought one, your majesty," he replied evenly. He pulled it from his breast pocket, holding it aloft between his index and middle fingers. He stood and moved away from him, beginning to strip himself of his clothes piece by deliberate piece. 

Oswald could not help but snicker as the metallic gold packet shimmered in his fingers, not unlike the glittering gift he'd received previously. He placed it on the desk in front of him, followed by his trousers, neatly folded in half and draped over the edge before turning his full attention to the long-limbed imp that entranced him.

He tilted his swan-like neck back, exposing the white of his throat as he unbuttoned his shirt. He let his fingers caress the soft skin of his chest as his eyes caught Oswald's gaze.

"What a lovely sight you are~" he crooned, encouraging the other man with interest. "Let me look at you, Eddie. Don't keep me waiting."

"But I love to keep you waiting," he murmured. "This is the only thing Oswald Cobblepot, king of Gotham's underworld, will wait for. His only desire denied." He smirked and undid another button. "For now."

Oswald rolled his eyes, but could ultimately offer no refute, for Edward was right as he often was.

Edward strolled toward his lover, lifting his wrist with a gentle touch. He rested Oswald's hand against his chest, allowing him to explore. "The baby's right, the lover's privilege, the hypocrite's mask. What am I?"

"Always with the riddles," he murmured, fingertips gently creeping over Edward's warm skin. "Hmm..." he contemplated aloud, knowing the other man would pout if he didn't give it some thought.

His breath hitched in his throat as Oswald's fingers brushed his nipple. "It's...Nngh easy if you think about it~" he breathed, the clink of his belt proceeding the slide of the leather through the loops.

His mouth ghosted over his ribs, pressing his lips gently against the flesh, realizing the answer. "A kiss~" Oswald smiled, pulling him closer.

Edward groaned as Oswald solved his riddle, nodding in agreement as he crashed his mouth down onto the other man's.

Pleased, he parted his lips willingly, rubbing Edward's hard length through his pants in intoxicating circles as his tongue slipped inside the other man's mouth. 

It had been far too long.

Edward ran his fingers through Oswald's hair, mussing the usually carefully coiffed locks. Edward had always loved disheveling Oswald. Getting the privilege to be the only one to see the king of Gotham come undone in such a manner. This knowledge was his alone, and he cherished it, as he groaned into his mouth and straddled his lap.

Oswald tried in vain to squirm away but ultimately allowed his 'feathers' to be ruffled. "Fiend," he breathed.

"You love me~" he challenged, kissing down his throat.

"Do not," Oswald insisted stoutly, protests dissolving into a moan at the other man's actions.

"No, not me." He rubbed his clothed ass against Oswald's cock and smirked. "Just this, I suppose."

He stifled another moan that he knew would gratify Edward far too quickly. Instead, he let his hands fly to the other man's hips to still his incessant grinding. "Ed those slacks were expensive, and now out of season, you're going to make me stain them!" 

He laughed lowly and shook his head; it was rather bold of Oswald to gift someone clothing and then act as though he still owned them. Silently, he acquiesced, coming to stand once more. "You can just buy more clothes, Oswald. I never understood why the richest man in Gotham cared so much about such trivialities." He turned, bending at the waist to pull down his trousers, giving Oswald quite the view.

"Mmm... and yet I come out on top once more~" he smirked, making a show of tearing open the condom packet and rolling it over his engorged length.

Edward nearly moaned at the sight alone, body growing hotter as he watched Oswald's hands stroke his cock. He was quite the sight, all power, spiteful glory, and fiendish beauty, and Edward loved every part of him. He had spent countless hours worshiping his form, caressing the soft belly, kissing his pale thighs, and embracing every part of Oswald Cobblepot. He would devote himself to Oswald for the rest of his days, and if this was the only way to show such fealty, then so be it.

"Are you ready for me, or do you need to stretch?" Oswald asked with a lascivious smile, pumping his length with low, eager groans; it had been too long since he had felt Edward's tight heat. Impatient as he was, he rather liked the thought of his friend bent over the desk, fucking himself on his fingers while he watched. A private show.

"I didn't have time to prepare myself," he murmured softly, eyes downcast. "I was procuring your present."

"Oh my, Edward Nygma is unprepared?" he taunted, motioning him over with the crook of a finger. "You were doing so well."

He scowled, flushing a dull and ugly red. "There are only so many hours in a day, and you do know I love to give you a show."

"Mmm, and I do so love to watch," he agreed. "Bend over then," he commanded, popping open the bottom drawer of his desk to rummage a moment before producing a nondescript bottle of lube. "You're lucky I have this."

"I knew you would have that," he rejoined with a smirk, bending over the desk. He reached back and spread his cheeks, revealing himself to Oswald fully.

"What a sight," he growled lowly, unable to keep from striking the round of his ass with an open palm.

With a startled gasp, he began to rock back, eager for more. 

"Naughty boy," Oswald continued, striking him again on the other cheek.

"Ahh, fuck, Oswald...please touch me."

He obliged, pressing a well-lubed finger against his puckered entrance with a smirk as it sank inside without resistance.

"Oh God, Ozzie," he groaned as he gripped the edge of the desk.

Oswald delighted in how readily the other man surrendered to him, pressing a second finger inside a few moments later. "Mm, you'll be ready for me in no time."

Edward's eyes rolled back, body relaxing into the expensive mahogany beneath him as Oswald pleasured and stretched him. "Fuck, you always know how to make me feel good, Ozzie."

"Does anyone else make you feel so good?" he purred, scissoring his plump fingers, encouraging Edward to continue offering him praise. "Harvey? Crane? Are they anything but substitutes?"

"N-no..." he shook his head, sweaty curls sticking to his forehead. "Only you, Oswald...only you."

Oswald smirked in delight, poising three fingers against his lover's entrance. "Soon enough, you'll be ready to sit on my cock."

"God I can't wait," he groaned, rolling his hips back greedily against the wicked man. "Is that all you got, Mr. Penguin~" he taunted, fucking himself on Oswald's fingers.

He thrust forward roughly in reply, hoping it would sting a little for his arrogance. "You know I have far more to offer."

He hissed, gripping the desk tightly. "Sadist~"

"You love it when I punish you for your impertinence."

Edward nodded, head thunking against the desk as Oswald finally pushed the third finger inside. The clever bird curled his fingers, brushing against that spot inside him that made him see stars. He cried out, mouth falling agape as he begged Oswald for more.

Oswald was happy to oblige, spreading him open as Edward's whimpers filled the room. "Would you like to have a seat?" he asked throatily, slowly withdrawing his fingers to slick his throbbing erection.

He looked back at him with a crooked grin, eyes glittering with sinful intentions.

Oswald pushed back from the desk to give the other man more room. "Watch the hip, it's a bit sore today," he murmured, adjusting his monocle in nervous anticipation.

He began to straddle his lap, slick entrance rubbing against Oswald's beautiful cock teasingly. "What happened?" he asked, stopping, immediately concerned.

"Nothing, Ed, I'm not made of glass- continue," he insisted, attempting to wrangle the other man by the hips and slide inside him.

Oswald groaned lowly, resisting the urge thrust forward roughly as Edward took him beautifully, as he always did. Perfectly tight and hot around him, head tossed back in pleasure.

"You always feel so good," Edward moaned, chest rising and falling as his breath came out sharply. "L-like coming home..."

Oswald's fingers tightened against the scarred flesh of his lover's hips as he finally sank inside entirely and held himself there with a low groan. "Shhh..." he crooned, peppering kisses over his back.

He bit the inside of his cheeks, trying to hold himself back. Oswald always felt so fucking good. He groaned, trying to roll against the other man, greedy and wanting.

"Easy Ed," he commanded softly, pulling him closer with gentle hands against his bare chest, tweaking both nipples playfully. "It has been quite some time since I've felt so good... if you don't give me a chance to breathe it will be over too soon."

He nodded, stilling with a soft, breathy groan. "I never could control myself around you."

"Nor can I, but your visits are never guaranteed... I try to make them last long enough to keep me company on lonely nights."

His hips rolled forward slowly, followed by a low moan, pulling out almost entirely before thrusting inside once more.

"F-fuck..." he cried. "Does that mean you want me to -oh God- visit more often?"

Maintaining an even pace, Oswald ran his fingers over every scar and freckle he could reach, pressing kisses against his skin almost reverently. "You know I enjoy your company."

"And I enjoy yours,' he groaned, bouncing rapturously on his cock.

Oswald's eyes fluttered shut, focusing on the sensation with a repetitive, low moan. He knew despite his best efforts, it would all be over soon.

Edward squeezed around Oswald's cock expertly. "I wanna feel you deep inside me. I want to feel you for days after this, Oswald. Please...please...harder."

With a snarl, Oswald complied, ignoring the protest of his aching hip and knee as he focused on giving Ed precisely what he wanted.

He gave a cry of pleasure, head thrown back. "Love this...fuck you feel so good..."

"Touch yourself... but don't make a mess, those documents are important~" he murmured, guiding Edward's hand to his own cock as he continued to grunt and moan with the effort of thrusting. His rounded stomach began brushing against the curve of Edward's lower back as a faint sheen of sweat-slicked the surface of their skin.

"I'm so close...please cum inside me, I wanna feel you cum deep inside me, Oswald." He gripped his cock with a groan, riding Oswald hard as he stroked himself in time with his thrusts.

Oswald couldn't have held back any longer if he tried, blunt nails scraping long red lines over Edward's sides as he scrambled to grasp him as orgasm quickly overtook him. "Oh Eddie~!" He gasped, managing three or four more sloppy thrusts before stilling, entirely out of breath.

Edward screamed as he sped his thrusts, stroking himself to completion with a cry of his lover's name.

Oswald almost objected when Edward finally unseated himself but was quickly satiated as his lover draped his long arms around his neck and placed an affectionate kiss against his flushed cheek. 

"What a lovely surprise," he breathed, dabbing his brow with a handkerchief.

"God, I've missed you," he murmured, resting his forehead against his shoulder.

Oswald held him like that for a moment before quietly asking if he would like to stay the night, luring him with promises of a warm bath, silken sheets, and shared ice cream.

His heart skipped a beat, tempted by the old desire to stay and be kept by Oswald, but he knew that would lead to complacency and the need to remain happy yet stagnated by the other man's side. He couldn't give up who he was for Oswald. Not yet, anymore than Oswald could give up his life for Edward. Someday perhaps they could retire to the country and leave Gotham to a new generation of ne'er-do-wells, but not until their separate goals were met.

"The offer always stands," he murmured, sounding a bit forlorn as Edward began to gather his clothes. He took the opportunity to slip back into his trousers, though he left his shirt untucked for the time being

He smiled softly, warm eyes filled with regret as he kissed Oswald goodbye, a slow sweet kiss that seemed to linger an hour.

Oswald sighed, both content yet longing as Edward finally let himself out, watching him go with a faint smile as he looked once more at the gift he left behind.


End file.
